So I was asked by a friend of mine to go (this was awhile ago) and speak with her class about being a new mom. Unfortunately I had to decline. The good thing would have been I could have scared them into not having children… the bad thing is I possibly could have scared them into not having children.... ever.
I absolutely l-o-v-e-d being pregnant so I will skip over the conception, pregnancy, labor and delivery since on a scale of 1-10 I give those nine months a 9.5. I had to take off .5 because of the 6 weeks of nausea—but not a full point because I never needed to actually throw up. Plus, that all seems like a distant memory now anyway… so I’m going to write about what happens after they place that beautiful little human into your arms that will now change your life forever…
Recovery:
The recovery after giving birth, for me, was more painful than the actual delivery. (and yes, I did have an epidural.) The good part about this, though, is that you really don’t have a lot of time to focus on the pain you are in because you have a little one to focus all your energy on. It took about 4 weeks for the pain to completely go away although within a week I was already doing things that my doctor probably would have scolded me for. I didn’t really “take it easy..” oh well, I didn’t really feel like I needed to. Even now though, 4 months later, I don't feel completely "normal." Nothing horrible.
Baby Blues:
I was pretty sure I was going to get locked up in the crazy house since every time I broke down in the hospital a nurse walked in. Around 4pm, every afternoon, was my breakdown and cry time for about two weeks. It was scary how hard I actually cried the first couple days, I mean it was to the point I couldn’t breathe. I’m sure Hubby thought I was a lunatic too. I cried over a picture of my dogs, not feeling like I loved Olivia enough yet, having a student nurse come in when there was a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door to do a PRACTICE exam on me that lasted 20 freaking minutes and then she asked if she could take my baby to the nursery.. and other things that I don’t remember but would probably laugh at now. It is rough having to deal with the pressures of being a new mom on top of your sheer exhaustion. (Plus, I had two annoying dogs to deal with too.) It's hard to explain just how hard it is.... it is just one of those "been there - done that" sort of things.
Feeding Your Baby:
I told my mom not too soon after getting home that if God really wanted babies to get their mommy’s milk then he shouldn’t have made it so damn hard to do! Breastfeeding so far has been the most difficult experience of all. It has caused me and Olivia a lot of frustration and tears. There were a few nights when I was hysterical and poor Hubby couldn’t do a thing. He went out and bought me a pump one day it was so bad. No one tells you that depending on the way you are shaped or how you baby’s mouth is shaped how drastically it can change how difficult feeding can be. I spoke to 3 lactation consultants and guess how many different opinions and tutorials on breastfeeding I got? Yup. Three. One put me on a plan that had me feeding her and then pumping 4 times a day for “insurance.” So I felt like all I was doing was feeding and pumping especially when she hit a growth spurt and wanted to eat practically every hour. I didn’t have any time to enjoy being with my baby. I breastfed for 1 week and pumped for 1 month. Of course I beat myself up because I wanted to give her the best- what mom doesn't- but I couldn't be the best mom to her breastfeeding.
The Cost of a Baby:
- FORMULA COSTS HOW MUCH??!
- THEY GO THROUGH HOW MANY DIAPERS A DAY??!
- CHILD CARE IS HOW MUCH A WEEK??!
Plus, to top it off, if you are like me you buy every single thing that is "cute" -- whether you need it or not--- including clothes, toys, books, etc. Lucky for us we were able to rearrange our home to accommodate a "playroom" for all the toys she's acquired... yes... just 4 months and she already needed a playroom.
Your Body:
Oh Lord. Let's just say things will never be the same again. Ever. The End.
Freak Outs!
SIDS. fevers. diarreah. dehydration. constipation. stuffy nose. diaper rash. too hot or too cold? why is she still crying? why is she not crying, I haven't heard her ALL night!? bath water too warm? bottle too warm? did I forget something at home?
Going Back to Work:
This was hard for me to accept -- because there was really no logical way I could stay home-- and the cause for many of my meltdowns over the first 3 months. I didn't want to miss anything.... but eventually I came to realize (in my opinion) that she will probably get much more from being in baby school than sitting at home with mommy watching chick-flicks. Besides, I get precious hours to spend with her in the evenings, weekends, snowdays, holidays and summer time... and I now make that time count.
The Greatest Gift of All:
With everything that has happened over the past 4 months I can say it does, in fact, get easier. Olivia is eating more now and less frequently. She goes to bed at 8, after her bath, and sleeps mostly through the night- waking up around 6am. (and boy is she a morning person.. unlike her mother and father..) She's starting to be able to do more and interact more. She loves to smile -- which can make a horrible day seem like the best day ever. It is so incredible how something so very small grows over nine months... then comes into your life and grows even more. Every day is amazing and brings something new. Every thing I mentioned above- doesn't even matter when I look at her.... it is all worth it.
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